"should have"

my dad drove my mother and I to RDU this afternoon, we were rushed because I decided to pack at the last minute (more on that later). all of a sudden he gasps "I should've turned there!"Being the helpful hannah I am, I decide now would be the opportune time to educate my father on the theory behind the word "should". I explain "well you know what 'they' say Dad, whenever you say 'should have', its like shitting on yourself...you have to move on and stay in the present moment." My dad pipes back "next time I'm just gonna yell SHIT SHIT SHIT, is that better?"Almost immediately, from the back seat, my mom quips "you should have packed earlier and maybe we wouldn't be so rushed!" hahaha. This illustrates my family dynamics perfectly. as silly and trivial as this story sounds, its been my motto today. after my dad dropped us off, I realized the medicine that I swore to my mom (over and over) I had packed safely in my backpack was indeed sitting in my car, in my driveway, back in Burlington. Next, I go through the metal detectors, not once, but 4 times, telling myself each time "I should have taken off that bracelet" "yep should have taken off the headband" "should have left the switch blade at home" (just kidding Grandma!!). I brought my ipod but I probably "should have" packed my headphones. I brought my phone but probably "should have" brought my phone charger. redundancy can be beautiful.

I'm going to try not to shit on myself the rest of this journey. Try being the key word. Its about thriving in the moment, not holding on to last moment, not wishing for the next. Gratitude in the moment is my mantra for today. I want this experience to not only wash over me, but transform the way I look at things. To immerse yourself in another country is as much of an inward journey as an outward one, at least thats what I keep telling myself.  I am meditating quietly in the corner of JFK with my Ipod as my mom begins to make friends with our entire flight. We leave for Amman, Jordan in about an hour. They are 6 hours ahead of the East Coast. We will land tomorrow at 2:00 pm (but our heads will think its 8 a.m.). This jet lag will definitely help my erratic sleep habits and scattered brain, not.

We will meet the rest of our travel family tomorrow evening!!