Flipping Fawn, Abroad

My extent of Native American culture is limited to what I learned at Indian Princesses (reppin' Chinook) and the Florida Seminoles. BUT, I feel like the universe grants me experiences in the areas where I am CLEARLY ignorant.

My first instructor at the outdoor program was part Native American. I had a horrible time transitioning to the back country and not only was she wise but she had poems and chants to share with me. The more I stayed in the moment, things that at first glance seemed foreign, slowly integrated themselves into my daily practices. Here are some excerpts from the Navajo night chant:

May it be beautiful before me.
May it be beautiful behind me.
May it be beautiful below me.
May it be beautiful above me.
May it be beautiful all around me.


The mountains, I become part of it . . .
The herbs, the fir tree, I become part of it.
The morning mists, the clouds, the gathering waters,
I become part of it.
The wilderness, the dew drops, the pollen . . .
I become part of it.

I am convinced that Travel should be something that becomes us and not just something we add to our score sheet or things we "did." I am learning my own connotations of the words "tolerance" and "acceptance" as I wrestle with the immersions into other cultures and more importantly reflect on the role I play in my own. I can say right now, without shame, that I called my dad from Israel to ask if the Hokies won because I didn't have the internet and wanted to make sure we were on track to win the Coastal and the ACC. Watching Virgina Tech play (more like WIN) football games with my dad growing up is one of my favorite memories. I can own the fact that I love watching football. I love it almost as much as my new Italian friend Daniel loves his Italiano Futbol. We all have our quirks.

As I flip through the International Herald (which is the best thing The New York times  has ever done, in my opinion), I am flabbergasted at the amount of U.S. news headlines I read that involve the word "economy" and "Republican." Israelis and Jordanians alike seemed so invested in our country (albeit our pop culture) and knew so much more about us then we knew about them. Even taking into account the media distortions, I was taken back every time someone in the Middle East asked me (with wide eyes) about my home country. I still have so much to say about the Beoudin Tribe, Petra, and Jerusalem and will post pictures soon! (please be patient Dad!)

I apologize but any clever transition I could come up with here would be about as useless as a microphone at a Britney Spears concert so let us continue.

My time in Venice was amazing and I can't wait to go back to explore more. My art teacher in middle school drilled into my head that there are ONLY THREE PRIMARY COLORS and every other color can be created using red blue and yellow. However, forgive me Ms. Spruil, but I swear that the colors splashed on the buildings and architecture in Venice were unlike any I have ever seen. Venice is such an old city and yet the buildings overlooking the water create a timelessness that I miss already. If thats not reason enough to visit, you're only means of transportation are gondola rides, the water taxi, or YOUR OWN TWO FEET--which in my case would place the omni-present predicament of whether or not I felt like being a lazy ass. 

We stopped in Debrovnik, Croatia yesterday and again the architecture was amazing. The best part was when out guide was explaining how the Serbians attacked Croatia in 1991 and she encouraged us to visit the War museum, she kept explaining that we would feel like we were transported alllllll the way back to 1991 and 1992. Part of me wanted to pipe back that I didn't want to go back to the times when I pooped my pants, but I politely refrained (for which I am certain my mom will be eternally grateful.)

Tomorrow we will be in Turkey (specifically Ephesus)!

catch 22

side note: wonderful book, everyone should read it!! and this keyboard is wack and im in a hurry so please excuse typos!!

current city: Venice, Italy
coffee shop, pianist is covering the Beatles, most appropriately "Here Comes the Sun" because its dark and gloomy outside, or what the locals call "high water" where everything floods and shut downs for two or three hours after a rain storm. Can't help but smirk at the fact that my weather channel WXII News 2 would be flipping out and interrupting Friday night television to tell us of a potential rain storm or flash flood. I absolutely LOVE the laid back attitude of Italians. I'm taking a chill pill and I refuse to come back to the reality I once knew until I land in RDU at the end of the month.

From my brief 10 days in the middle east, I have gathered that the Palenstinian/Israeli conflict is full of catch 22s. It is no secret that I am pro-palenstinian and desperately desire equal rights for every human on the planet.  But I empathize with the Israelis who have been affected by terrorism. As a U.S. citizen and more importantly as a human being, I am deeply saddened by 9/11. However, I am not sure that building a wall that in affect isolates the Palenstinians from everything is the answer. I don't see how people can cheer when the Berlin wall is finally torn down but then applaud when we put up a barrier or cement with armed guards 24/7 and electric fences on the West Bank. I have seen it with my own eyes and touched it with my own hands and I will not do the experience justice on here. I want to remember how it felt watching the Arab women in their modest car drive up to the gate with their identification cards and permit passes clutched tightly in their grip. They looked humiliated. I love my dad, but he still gets insulted when airport security looks at his photo ID more than 2.5 seconds. Any time he feels like he is being second guessed, he becomes defensive. He is 69 years old, a veteran, and he feels like he is entitled to some respect. IMAGINE HOW THESE PEOPLE FEEL. They have family businesses and friends and family that this wall/barrier has separated them from. With all due respect to the horrible events in Darfur and other places, but I am willing to call this the beginning of a genocide.  Its happening subtly but its forcing the Arabs to become the under dogs, they cannot receive medical care and cannot get their children to school. I would not tolerate these actions in any area of the world and I certainly cannot condone them now that I have held the hands of my new Palenstinian friends and seen their tears of frusteration and the looks of desperation. Part of me wishes I could go back to the time before I saw all of this, that way I could hide in my ignorance but I can't. I want my voice, no matter how small, to be a voice that inspires people to get educated. It starts with tolerance. Let us all practice it together! There is no such thing as a lesser person. I pride myself (even in the holy land, heh) on being empathetic. This is why I will never be able to be a nurse, doctor, veternarian, or in the military. I have the UPMOST respect for people in these careers, I'm just a wimp. I'm emotionally sensitive and I feel other people's pain too deeply. And yes I realize I just sounded like the jerk at the interview who says his worst quality is that he "cares too much" or "works too hard." What I'm trying to explain is that I border on naivete because I want so desperately to believe that I can change the world. But what would happen if we all told ourselves we could change the world? I see myself and my generation give up on their dreams all too quickly because they listen to that voice (whoever it may be!) that whispers or in my case yells "YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE WORLD, GIVE UP NOW!" My hope in my generation is restored every time I see people rally around causes they support, for ever facebook invitation I receive about a noble cause that does not involve a keg and a house party (although I do fully support those as well).

I met the sweetest lady from Reno and we were having dinner one night and talking about our home life. She wanted to know why I wasn't in school, why I didn't have a boyfriend (because that would justify me being out of school?!), and what I wanted to study when I grew up. She is a child of the 50's and remembers all too well the protests about the vietnam war. She explained how nostalgic it was hearing me get my panties in a wad about things such as equality and peace and using NON VIOLENT means as a way to compromise things in the middle east. She remembers the rebel rousers of her "day". She remembers how much fire and spunk her generation had and how much they had changed since then. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people her age who still stand up for what they believe but many have allowed their fire to be burnt out by the day to day monotony adulthood brings. It is so eery to think the same free spirits who protested the war and preached free love once upon a time are the same "older" people who turn their nose up at me when I explain why I would love to join the peace corps. My own mom, god bless her, being one of them, education was and still is a privilege and any education outside of a certified classroom is not as highly regarded in my neck of the woods. This kind lady I dined with wasn't surprised when I said I was taking my time earning my degree (10 year plan?) and that I had intentions of reforming our prison systems with a career in social work. Thank goodness it wasn't the first day we had met because she would have probably thought I was a spoiled white girl who had no ambition and therefor stood behind this "dream" for world peace. We talked about needing to be realistic and living in a cave with a Bedouin tribe the rest of my life was not going to immediately quench my thirst. Not that it matters in the least, but she is an extreme right wing conservative. SHE confided in me that it was a stretch for her to come to middle east at all because of her ignorance and fear, and in my opinion neither of which are entirely her fault. I know some of my statements seemed outlandish and made her uneasy but she had this twinkle in her eye, a look that explained while she wouldn't endorse my dreams verbally, she understood my passion. It was a look of hope. As she left to meet her husband after dinner she put her hand on my shoulder and said "oh dear Morgan, my generation tried to save the world and we failed, but I hope yours gets the chance!" Even if it was her 3 glasses of wine talking, it meant a lot that she believed in what I was saying. All I really had to offer her in terms of support for my ideas was my previous life experience. And lets face it, on the outside I'm a 20 year old with less than 2 years of college education. But those who know me, well you guys know the whole story. I have been fortunate enough to meet a WIDE variety of people and have a wide variety of mentors who have helped broaden my horizons.  SUWS, Auldern, Africa, Peru, NOLS, WoCo, ZTA can I get a hell yeah? Teachers and professors that were brave enough to tell me that life does not always go according to plan but you ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. It was reiterated to me at boarding school (im being kind here) and then a wise guy told me before I left the USA that "all in all, everyone is responsible for their own actions." I like to argue that people's upbringing along with environment play a role in the way they react to situations. But for all you "LOST" fans out there, Locke advises Charlie (when he's trying to kick his heroine habit) that its the power of RESPONDING to a situation rather then reacting to it that separates human beings from animals. I attribute most of my poor qualities to animalistic instincts, but lets face it pretty soon my prefrontal cortex will be fully developed and I'll need a new alibi.


Tomorrow is Croatia!!

200 meters

also known as "no-mans land" but I think they should re-name it everyman's land. 

200 meters is all that separates the borders of Jordan and Israel. The areas that people walk while soldiers from each country stand armed on either border because for 200 meters, its NO ONE'S LAND.

I could write 37402374230 blog posts about the irony of all of this but I have a flight to Rome to catch.

Things I want to remember to update everyone on:

Petra and Jordan in Israel, the flights in Israel, the flight attendant who watched Lost with me, my group, the giant wall that Israel is building to keep Palenstinians in a prison, the Holocaust museum, Bethlehem, Betty, Cam, camel ride, Tel-Aviv, Jerusalem, the hatred and tension, and so many pictures and stories!

In regards to all the supposed peace talks and the Israel PM's trip to New Orleans, I will leave you with this quote from my new friend and Palenstinian-Jordanian, Cam:

"At the end of the day, all the mothers want their children to grow up"

ps: we stopped at a Kosher Mcdonalds today. no cheese burgers, no egg mcmuffins, pretty much the anti-christ of what Mcdonalds means to me. But I'm working on embracing it.

What do Kurt Vonnegut and Yoga have to do with Jordan?

I'm not sure. My brain has made a connection but I doubt this post will be able to adequately explain it to you.

Kurt Vonnegut is one of my all time favorite authors and my favorite quote is from his novel, "Mother Night." (READ IT, it will broaden your horizons!)

He writes "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

I think he understands the complexities of the human soul and he explains life with humor that I can't resist.

Here is an excerpt from a radio interview:

[When Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

Today we are heading along the kings highway and stopping at Mount Nebo for our first glimpse of the Dead Sea, then we are heading to Madaba in the afternoon. Jet lag is still pretty crazy. Its 4:48 a.m. here and I'm going to repack my bag and be ready to head out at 7:45 a.m. 

Grateful for Today!

“Yoga, in Sanskrit, can be translated as Union. It originally comes from the root word Yuj, which means to yoke, to attach yourself to a task at hand with ox-like discipline and the task at hand in Yoga is to find Union. Between mind and body, between the individual and her god, between our thoughts and the source of our thoughts, between teacher and student, and even between ourselves and our hard-to-bend neighbors.

The ancients developed these physical stretches not for personal fitness, but to loosen up their muscles and minds in order to prepare them for meditation. It is difficult to sit in still for hours, after all, if your hip is aching keeping you from contemplating your intrinsic divinity because you’re too busy contemplating, “Wow, my hip really aches.”

But Yoga can also mean trying to find god through meditation, through scholarly study, through the practice of silence, through devotional service or through mantra, the repetition of sacred words in Sanskrit.”   --"Eat, Pray, Love"

"and I can't fight this feeling anymore" thursday 4 pm

REO Speedwagon. melt my heart. enough said.

we hop into our van at the Amman airport and our lovely driver named "Iyatt" has his REO CD in and he knows every blasted word. I think I'm going to like it here. The car behind us had all 4 windows down and was jamming out to "Ridin' Solo". I appreciate the fact that the classics from the U.S. have reached Jordan. I remember hearing Alanis Morissette play in a diner while in Peru and our waitress spoke little english but knew the words to "Ironic." She definitely got a good tip from our table. The weirdness things seem to transcend between cultures and thats what gives me hope. If we can all jam out to REO, Alannis, and pop/rap, can't we work on tolerance? We were all created with the same fabric.

WE ARRIVED SAFELY TO OUR HOTEL AT ABOUT 3:30 pm.

Everyone is Jordan has been extremely hospitable so far, very welcoming. I almost wish I could guarantee them the same courtesy when they visit the States, but sadly that isn't always the case. There are so many misconceptions about the middle east and I'm so fortunate and (really) excited that I have this chance.

As we pulled up the Four Seasons, a gentlemen approached the car with this weird contraption and pointed it at us and then the entire van. Being the shy person I am, I asked "what the heck is he doing?: and our driver gleams "checking for bombs!". I love the honesty. Better yet, when we get into the hotel we get to go through metal detectors and our bags are searched, this occurs every time you enter a hotel in Jordan (circa 2005 when the hotel bombings happened in Jordan). Its interesting because the hotel staff actually enjoy the security it provides, will the US ever get to this point?!?!?

Friends and family will attest to the fact that I often complain of our (often suffocating) western ways.  I have learned to detest technology, or really anything that gives a voice to ignorance or enables bullying. There are so many beautiful things that come from technology and I savor every chance I see Facebook or (God-forbid) Twitter do something worthwhile. I do however LOVE technology every single time I see it foster a connection. Thats happened 3 times today already.

The wonderful gentleman who greeted us in Amman helped us with our luggage, we each have 2 giant suitcases. He picked up mine as said "did you pack your boyfriend in here?!" and ofcourse I laughed and replied "I wish" and he said "well thats what facebook is for, right?!" hahaha. He is indeed on facebook but I'll definitely wait and let him add me as a friend first. I jest, I jest.

We had what I call a linner (i'll let you figure that one out) and it was the first time I'd seen real food in almost 24 hours. After we stuffed our faces (did I mention the legal age for consumption is 18 here?) we went to a shop where we met a local craftsmen who makes jewelry and other Beoudian (Arab nomadic tribe who lives in the Jordan area) crafts. He was super nice, he is on facebook and told me to tag him in the picture I took of us. My theme for my humanities class at Wofford was on travel and how it affects people. I often find myself criticizing the western world and its harsh influence on other places. But sometimes I think I blame the US's influence on things that are human nature. Facebook is fun, its addicting, people crave human interaction (albeit even if its in cyber space.) So I'm happy facebook has reached Jordan. Every person I have seen has a cell phone. Thats cool too, I'm more used to that because   I visited one of the poorest areas in Peru and everyone had a cell phone. In fact, most of my friends from the homeless shelter have cell phones. Its a great invention and I think power we are given and its our job to keep it in check. say it with me, "moderation".

Here are a few pictures from today!

yours truly, mainly for my dad (MISS AND LOVE YOU!)

the city via the van going 60 km/hr

metal detector at entrance to four seasons, perfect illustration of why tolerance is needed.

MOM!

this is when the security guard told me I could not take any pictures of the security, he was very nice and he told me he hoped the states did not resort to this. we shall see.

this is Sam, the craftsmen, he made much of the jewelry that is in this shop and he is Jordanian, born and raised, hopes to travel to Syrria and Egypt one day, and has a lovely accent. LADIES, HE IS AVAILABLE.

as-Slām=peace

ARABIC WORD OF THE DAY, courtesy the man at the front desk's abundant patience with me.

"should have"

my dad drove my mother and I to RDU this afternoon, we were rushed because I decided to pack at the last minute (more on that later). all of a sudden he gasps "I should've turned there!"Being the helpful hannah I am, I decide now would be the opportune time to educate my father on the theory behind the word "should". I explain "well you know what 'they' say Dad, whenever you say 'should have', its like shitting on yourself...you have to move on and stay in the present moment." My dad pipes back "next time I'm just gonna yell SHIT SHIT SHIT, is that better?"Almost immediately, from the back seat, my mom quips "you should have packed earlier and maybe we wouldn't be so rushed!" hahaha. This illustrates my family dynamics perfectly. as silly and trivial as this story sounds, its been my motto today. after my dad dropped us off, I realized the medicine that I swore to my mom (over and over) I had packed safely in my backpack was indeed sitting in my car, in my driveway, back in Burlington. Next, I go through the metal detectors, not once, but 4 times, telling myself each time "I should have taken off that bracelet" "yep should have taken off the headband" "should have left the switch blade at home" (just kidding Grandma!!). I brought my ipod but I probably "should have" packed my headphones. I brought my phone but probably "should have" brought my phone charger. redundancy can be beautiful.

I'm going to try not to shit on myself the rest of this journey. Try being the key word. Its about thriving in the moment, not holding on to last moment, not wishing for the next. Gratitude in the moment is my mantra for today. I want this experience to not only wash over me, but transform the way I look at things. To immerse yourself in another country is as much of an inward journey as an outward one, at least thats what I keep telling myself.  I am meditating quietly in the corner of JFK with my Ipod as my mom begins to make friends with our entire flight. We leave for Amman, Jordan in about an hour. They are 6 hours ahead of the East Coast. We will land tomorrow at 2:00 pm (but our heads will think its 8 a.m.). This jet lag will definitely help my erratic sleep habits and scattered brain, not.

We will meet the rest of our travel family tomorrow evening!!